Women's Bodies - by KT Chen

When I was in high school, a girl I didn't know well asked me to do something I considered wrong and immoral.

She asked me to take her to get an abortion.

A little background may help ...

I was raised in a religious household.  We went to church several times a week.  I had pretty strong views about what was "right" and what was "wrong."  (Age has mellowed that by a lot, but at the time, I was young and the world looked more black and white).

This girl ran in the popular circles.  (I wasn't part of that crowd).  It was our senior year, and both she and her boyfriend had been accepted to prestigious schools, on opposite sides of the country.  But she was only 17.  And in our state, if you weren't 18, you couldn't get an abortion without parental consent.  

Her family was more religious than mine was.  

She approached me in the parking lot after school.  She hadn't told anyone.  I was the sole person she could ask.

I think it was because I had more privileges than most kids at school.  We lived in a small town that was between one and two hours from three other states, and I regularly drove to them for a variety of reasons (other friends, doctors, my parent's business, and so forth).

One of those states allowed abortion at 17 without parent permission.  She wanted me to drive her over so she could get one.

She had picked her timing really well.  My parents were going to be out of town for a business trip over the upcoming weekend.  All she needed was for me to say yes.

I spent a very sleepless night deliberating.  It wasn't my child.  I had nothing to do with it.  This girl wasn't anything to me, personally.  I wasn't trying to impress her or score points with her or get into her social circle or anything else.  Yet, she had trusted me with a secret that was probably as big as it gets in high school.  And I spent the night being crushed by the weight of it.  -- I couldn't imagine what it had to be like for her. 

So, the next morning, not having slept, when I passed her in the hall, I gave her a very slight nod.

It felt like some kind of secret signal in a movie, but she knew what I meant by it.

She had parked by me in the parking lot, and confirmed my nod as we left school that afternoon.

That Saturday, she showed up at my house and we drove to the clinic.

This lively, bubbly girl said nothing the whole trip.  We were alone with our thoughts together.

All I could think about was how her life would be over if she didn't do this and how that was wrong for her.  How it was wrong for anyone to force her to have a baby.  -- I have no idea what she thought about on the drive.

When we got there, I walked her in, sat with her as she filled out the paperwork, and expected to wait in the waiting area when she went back, but at the last second, she caught my hand.

I walked back to the room with her and we got a lecture about what would happen and if we really wanted this.  I believe the person talking to us thought I was the dad.  I didn't correct the assumption.

I held her hand through the procedure.

Afterward, I took her home.  She didn't speak, and neither did I.

My view of abortion changed forever through that experience.  

A woman's body is her own.  She should have total control over it.  All of it.  And no one should be able to make life altering decisions for her by taking away her access to healthcare, including abortion.

We didn't become friends.  I never told anyone it happened (until now).  As far as I know, neither did she.  

Somehow, though, I think we were both changed forever.

Social media has allowed me to get back in touch with those I went to high school with, and I see she's married, has children, and is living a happy life.

I am grateful that she asked me.  I am grateful for the experience to change my mind on something that should have been so much clearer than it was.  I am grateful that we both went on to better things.

When I see Georgia, Alabama, Ohio, and Missouri making decisions that will impact young girls' lives, I think about that day.  

I hope the voters in those states vote out every one of the legislators that voted to curb a woman's right to her own bodily decisions.