Parent:  I would like my lottery results please.

Me:  The lottery results haven't been released yet.

Parent:  My friend received hers; therefore, I would like you to give me mine.

Me:  Would you please have them forward me their lottery results email, I'd like to see it.

Parent:  They were emailed?

Parent:  My children have been identified as G/T in every school district they have ever attended.

Me:  Okay.

Parent:  So if they are not identified as G/T in your school district, then your measurements are flawed, because my children are definitely G/T.

Me:  We haven't determined their G/T status yet.

Parent:  I'm just saying, you know, for future reference, if your district doesn't identify them as G/T, your assessments are wrong.

Me:  How about we wait until their test scores come back and the matrix is written before challenging the validity of the tests?

Parent:  During applications, I applied to third grade for my child.  What are our chances?

Me:  Right now?  Zero.

Parent:  What!?  There is no chance of getting in!?

Me:  Our kindergartners move up to first grade, and our first graders move to second, our second to third, third to fourth, and fourth to fifth.  At this time, there is zero space available in third grade for next year, because our second classes are full this year.

Parent:  Why do you take applications for grades with no space?

Me:  Because sometimes kids leave our program, and if that happens, I need a to be able to fill the seat.

Parent:  I wish I would have known this before I put in an application to your school.

Me:  This is all covered on my tour.  Did you come to one of our tours?

Parent:  No.

Me:  You have come to every testing date, and we still have not been able to get your child to go test.

Parent:  I know.  If I could come with them, they would do it.

Me:  Unfortunately, that is not going to happen.  The test is secured material.  

Parent:  What do I do?

Me:  Unfortunately, there is nothing to do, except go home.  Your child won't test, therefore they will not qualify as G/T.  They will be ineligible to any G/T magnets to which you have applied.

Parent:  There is no other testing date?

Me:  This is the last one.

Parent:  I don't know what to do.

​Me:  The only thing you can do ... go on home.

Though I work at a K-8 school (Kindergarten through eighth grade), I'm really a secondary person.  Give me your sulky, your back-talking, your hormonal crazed teenager, and I am in my element.  Random hugs and involved conversations about a goldfish name Fred?  Not so much.

Every year we have four year olds that refuse to test.  They are so distraught by having to leave their parent(s), that they have a meltdown.  I have no patience for this sort of thing.  -- If it were a teenager with a lip ring, implanted horns, and tri-colored hair crying about their boyfriend, no problem (yes, that happened).  But someone not tall enough for adult rides falling to pieces?  Ugh.

Parent:  If I put your school as my Rank 1 school, and my child qualifies as G/T, will they get in?

Me:  Not necessarily.  I have thousands of applicants that put my school as Rank 1, but I still only have about 200 spaces available.

Parent:  But I thought by putting you as Rank 1, it meant they would get in if they qualified.

Me:  Not necessarily.  Rank 1 means that you prefer my program over the other programs, but it does not mean your child will be accepted.

Parent:  Why not?

Me:  The algorithm that runs the lottery does not consider the ranks of schools when it assigns students to programs.  It is completely random.  Ranking happens *after* the lottery is run.

Parent:  Why do you make parents rank schools?

Me:  To prioritize your choices.  - The district no longer allows students to be selected to more than one program.  Ranking means that if a student is selected for more than one program, the parent has indicated their preferences, the highest ranked program that accepted the student will stay, and any other lower ranked program seat(s) will be given to someone else.

Parent:  But putting your program as Rank 1 should help my child get in, right?

Me:  Not in the way you mean, no.

Parent:  I received notification that my child's testing was cancelled.  :: Gives me child's name and I look them up in the system. ::

Me:  That is correct.  I see that you withdrew your application.  When you did that, we cancelled your child's testing.

Parent:  Why?

Me:  Because we cannot test anyone without an active application in our system.

Parent:  I meant why was the application withdrawn?

Me:  :: squints ::  blinks :: ... I have no idea why you withdrew your child's application.

Parent:  The application asks if my child is currently identified as G/T by <name of school district,> and I'm not sure how to answer.

Me:  Are they currently attending school in the district?

Parent:  No.

Me:  Have they ever attended school in the district?

Parent:  No.

Me:  Then your answer is no.

Parent:  I received a notice that my child's application was "qualified pending."  What does that mean?

Me:  It means we do not yet know if your child qualified as G/T, but we wanted to be sure to include them in the lottery.

Parent:  Why do you not know if they are G/T?

Me:  We do not have the test scores back yet.

Parent:  But they will be in the lottery?

Me:  For now, yes.

Parent:  Does that mean they do not have to be G/T to attend your school?

Me:  That is not what it means at all.  All students have to be G/T to attend my school.

Parent:  But you just said they would be in your lottery, and you don't know if they are G/T or not!

Me:  They will be.  All students for whom we are waiting test scores will be in the lottery.  However, when we get the test scores back, they will be marked as either qualified G/T, and their lottery placement will remain, or they will be marked as not qualified, and they will be dropped off of our lottery lists.

Parent:  So what does qualified pending mean?

Me:  It means we do not yet know if your child is G/T.

There is a camp song called "There's a Hole in the Bucket."  It describes a conversation between Liza and Henry that runs in a never-ending circle.  He needs something, but it's broken and to fix it he need something else, and so forth and so on, until it brings you back to the first thing he needed.  Sometimes, when I have conversations like this with parents, I'm singing that song in my mind ...

Parent:  Where is the testing for <names child's grade level?>

Me:  At Q School.

Parent:  We didn't apply to Q School.

Me:  I understand that.  Q School is the test site for all applicants to that grade.

Parent:  Can't my child test at your school?

Me:  No.  We are not offering testing for that grade level at my school.

Parent:  So, where do I take my child for testing?

​Me:  Q School.

Parent:  My child missed their testing appointment.  I would like to schedule a make-up.

Me:  I am very sorry, but your child cannot be tested at this time.

Parent:  Why not?

Me:  The testing window closed two weeks ago.  The district sets the dates of the testing window, and once it closes, we cannot test anyone.

Parent:  What does that mean?

Me:  It means your child will not be tested.

In this particular case, the parent had scheduled testing when they submitted their application.  The parent chose the testing date.   The request of a make-up happened six weeks after the scheduled testing date.  By that time, the district had completed testing and all tests had been submitted to the testing company for scoring.  There was literally nothing that could be done for this parent.

Parent:  I received a notification that stated my child was not qualified.  What does that mean?

Me:  It means a matrix was completed on your child, and they did not qualify as G/T.

Parent:  I thought students had to qualify as G/T to attend your school?

Me:  They do.

Parent:  How can my child attend your school if they did not qualify as G/T?

​Me:  They can't.

Parent:  My child tested last year and qualified as G/T, why do they need to be re-tested?

Me:  Yes, I can see that; however, they I do not see that they ever enrolled in a district school.  Are they currently attending private school?

Parent:  Yes.

Me:  District rules allow a student six months from identification to enroll in a district school for services, otherwise they are not considered G/T and must re-test.

Parent:  Ah ha!  We were notified just five months ago!  They should still be G/T!

Me:  They would be, if they were in a district school.  Are you going to enroll them in a district school before the end of the month?

Parent:  No.

Me:  Then they are going to need to be re-tested.

The application system allows parents to upload documents.  Sometimes, especially in the cases of private schools or homeschool programs, the parent may not have a physical document to upload.  Instead, the private school or homeschool program provides the parents with access to an online grade site.  

Unfortunately, there is no way for the parent to link the site to the application system my district uses.  In those cases, parents often send me a link to their child's grades on the grade site.  Success with this is about 60/40.  60% of the grade sites are protected in such a way that I can't see anything.  40% allow me to use the link to get to the grades I need for the matrix.

I was expecting a grade page when I clicked on a link a parent sent me regarding their child's application.  What I got was their child's personal website.  The website was filled with pictures, awards, and videos of the child.  It was obviously professionally done and carefully choreographed to "sell" me on admitting the child to my program.

I have to admit, this was the first time I had seen an entire website dedicated to getting a kid into second grade.  

I will also admit that I clicked around a bit, just to see what all was there.  - How much effort went into the website was astounding.

In the end though, I am not allowed to consider anything outside the G/T matrix to determine if a child qualifies for my program or not.  I sent a reply to the parent with a link to district policy which states in no uncertain terms that a child has to apply, qualify as G/T, and win a seat in the lottery for admittance to my program.

I also may or may not have shared the link with a few close friends.  I mean, really, how often do you see a seven year old that can play the guitar with his hands while playing the piano with his feet?

At Entering Kindergarten testing ...

Parent:  How are these tests scored?

​Me:  One answer at a time.

Parent:  My child took one of the two tests a year ago in November.  Do they have to take it again?

Me:  Yes.

Parent:  Why?

Me:  The district requires test scores to be within a 12 month window.  A year ago in November puts it at 13 months.

Parent:  An exception cannot be made?

Me:  Correct.  No exceptions.

Parent:  That's what the clerk, the other G/T coordinator, and the G/T Department secretary said, but I didn't believe them.  I thought since it was just a month, there would be some wiggle room.

Me:  There is no wiggle room.  Our rules are very clear on this point.

Parent:  Is there someone else I can talk to?

Me:  To get a different answer?

Parent:  Yes.

Me:  No.  

Parent:  I am looking at my submitted applications and one of my children seems to have disappeared.

Me:  Can you give me the student's name?

:: Parent supplies me with the name, and I search through the applications for the student, which is truly nowhere to be found.  ::

Me:  Can you give me your name please?

:: Parent supplies me with their name, and I look up their account information.  Their Dashboard shows one student.  I pull up that student's application, and read the notes on the application. ::

Me:  Ah, okay, I *think* I see what happened.  You submitted an application for John Bob Smith, birthday 07/08/09 with your address and contact information.  You also submitted an application for John Bob Doe, birthday 07/08/09 with your address and the father's contact information.  Upon investigation, it was determined that John Bob Smith and John Bob Doe were the same person -

Parent:  How do you know this?

Me:  You mean besides having the same birthday and address?

Parent:  Yes.

Me:  Among other things, the documents uploaded into the system are the same for both applications.  - Anyway, because it was the same child we merged the two into one.

Parent:  I just wanted him to have a better chance of getting into a good school!

Me:  Unfortunately, we cannot have one child in the system in the system twice.  That would allow them twice as many chances as everyone else, and that's very unfair.

In my entire career as a professional educator (18 years and counting), I have received a grand total of one email from the White House.

... I'm not sure it counts though, because it wasn't addressed to me, I was merely CC'ed on the thing ...

Email from The Office of the President of the United States:

Dear <Names Parent of child not selected to my program>:

We regret to inform you that the President cannot grant your request for a Presidential Appointment to <names my school.>  According to <names federal educational policy code,> when the state in question joined the Union, educational policies for the state are under the purview of the Governor's office.

For further assistance, please contact your Governor's Office.

Prior to receipt of this email, I had no idea that there even *was* such a thing as a "Presidential Appointment," and I certainly had never had a parent pursue one.  Needless to say, a parent willing to petition the President of the United States for a spot in my Kindergarten program was not going to stop with a rejection email from said President.  A few weeks later, I received an email from the Governor's office ...

Email from the Governor's Office:

Dear <Names Parent of child not selected to my program>:

We regret to inform you that the Governor cannot grant your request for a Governor's Appointment to <names my school.>  According to <names state educational policy code,> in this state, each school district's governing body, in this case the Superintendent and School Board, can determine the criteria in which students are accepted to specialty schools within the district's boundaries.
​
For further assistance, please contact your school district's Superintendent's Office.

By the time that email crawled through my inbox, I was feeling very sorry for whatever White House intern and Governor's Office personnel that had had to research all of this to give the parent their answer.  Of course, it wouldn't end there either ...

Email from the Superintendent's Office:

Dear <Names Parent of child not selected to my program>:

Following an investigation on your behalf, it was determine that the school to which you have applied has followed all correct protocol and procedures.  We regret to inform you that your child's placement will not be reconsidered.  You may, however, apply again next year in hopes that your child will be selected in the lottery.  Best wishes.

A few days later, the following email landed in my inbox ...

Email from My Principal:

Dear <Names Parent of child not selected to my program>:

I understand your disappointment that your child was not selected for the G/T program at this campus.  Unfortunately, there is nothing that I can do for you.  If you would like further assistance, please contact the Magnet Coordinator.

Given that the parent had started all of this with me, but didn't like my answer, they did not contact me; however, from that moment on, when a parent would want to argue with me about their child's placement (or lack thereof), I *always* wanted to say, "Even the PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES cannot get your kid into my school."  ... I never did though ...